Monday, October 27, 2008

Getting Old?

The phone rang. It brought a smile to my face. It was a very close friend of mine who got married about  a year back. I still cant digest it!!!!maybe shes teh first one to get married amongst us so we are finding it difficult to take itWe hadn’t been in touch since I came to DC. She had called up to wish me Diwali. It felt great. Diwali is something, for me, that over the years had lost its charm. The Diwali I celebrated as kid was nowhere to be seen. Diwali shopping was full of ethnic clothes. Now, its just another shopping spree. So I never indulged myself in it. 

But this time it was different. I am in a place where the only festival to celebrate is Christmas. Diwali is not even known. I used to feel Diwali means nothing to me. But not this around. It means a hell lot to me. All these years, I dint celebrate it but was always amongst those who took it seriously. My father, my friends, my neighbors and so somehow or the other I indirectly celebrated it. This year there was nothing of such chaos. No sweets coming home. No guests. No wishes. No sms’s from long lost friends. That’s when I realized, how much I miss Diwali.

I used buy crackers worth thousands every year. New clothes, shoes school bags and what not. But since I stopped celebrating Diwali, I never missed it until this year. This year is different. I am missing it and badly, that too. I want some excitement around. I want kids waiting for evening to come so that they can burst crackers. I want to wait for the evenings to see beautiful lights outside the balconies. I want to stand in my own balcony, with smooth air and watch a beautiful lighted city. When you look at those lights with alternating on-off or various designs, you get a feeling the whole world is so happy. I wish I could do all that. But I am not and I cant.

Coming back to the phone call. We shouted a big HI!!! Damn, I was so  excited after such a long time. It felt nice to even get excited now-a-days. We wished each other Diwali and New Year. And then the usual talks, “how am I settling in?”, “how is the studies?” and then I again got that feeling, “She really got married!!!”. That’s what I was telling her. It has been one hell of a year. Lots of things changed over this one year. Exactly a year back I started blogging and wrote the Viva Goa post. Its a year since we went to that beautiful, first and last, etched in memories forever trip to Goa. But it felt more than a year. All of us had changed. More mature, more busy into career. I crib about it quite a lot, but I know I am the one who has changed the most of all.

We always went for coffee’s and movies and we never had to make any plans. It happened in a jerk.. A few fone calls and there we are, sitting in a theatre watching a pathetic movie and cracking jokes. And now, here we are. A few have families to look after, responsibilities to bear. We have to decide like a week in advance that we will be meeting for a coffee. Play Tom & Jerry over phones. When u call up I am busy, when I call up u r busy. No more Sunday 8 am shows. No more going to sea face every weekend. No more 7248. She is in a completely diff phase of life. But at least we others are not. We talk over the phone whenever time permits. Still keep in touch. Still call each other by the names we always used to. But there is no more the crazy stuff that we did. No more overnights. No more Birthday’s known surprises. 

It feels like “Am I getting old?”

But there is one thing to it. All of us are happy I am sure. Nobody is regretting anything. I am having a ball of a time, studying, earning, playing soccer, partying. All of us having great time in their own life. Just that we miss THOSE days. And would love to have times like that when life permits. And that’s the reason why I say again,

“Are we getting old?”….. “Really getting old?”




Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Living My Dream...

Sitting in a metro, passing through suburbs, lots of people around and I dont know when I went in a flashback...
The metro was racing through the underground tunnel when I was all aware of the crowd and when the sun shone I had drowned in thoughts...

It was 7th of August. I woke up as early as I could. "This is the day!" I told myself. "This is what I have been waiting for since a long time now". I wore an ear-to-ear smile the whole day. There was a chaos at my place.People had already arrived. I knew it was big for them especially after what my image had been all these years. Never-ending backlogs, drop-outs had all suggested I would be a perfect example of talent unused, wasted. But today, all that has changed. I am leaving for United States.

While leaving for check-in, I took a glimpse back, waved at everyone knowing I wouldnt see them for quite some time now. Their eyes shone with lucks and wishes telling me "Dont throw this away.Take care and do well!!!" With a glut in throat and chest filled with pride I disappeared.Wearing a dapper jacket and jean, I felt like a celebrity. I have always loved the classy stuff and thats what I was being.Through the journey, I was reading the letters my friends wrote to me, Greeting cards enclosed with photographs, and heartfelt wishes. I was thinking I would do this, I would do that and I had covered 12875km even before I was done my do's.

Travelling to MY APARTMENT,MY HOUSE, I dint feel as if I was in THE STATES. Same roads, Same trees but, the sky was different. It was perfect blue with preen white clouds scattered; Something, that we always see in movies...

Thinking about sky, I started looking at it and started wondering again, " Why is it more beautiful here?" The revisit was over. I was in sunlight. Travelling in a metro, visiting some suburb, lots of NEW people around...

and proudly smiling, '' LIVING MY DREAM!"

Saturday, August 16, 2008

India undivided

Its 16th august, 2008 and I am in Boston, USA. For the first time in 23 years, I celebrated our Indepandance Day in the capital. But unfortunately, not in India but in US of A. I had never felt so patrotic ever before. I dint attend the flag hoisting ceremony because I was pretty busy with my oacking and shopping gift for my sister,who is in Boston, for Rakhi; but I did understand the power behind "Proud to be an Indian" for the first time. Not that I hated India but you always understand one's importance when you are away from them.

Due to differences in the time zone, India saw the Sun of 15th August before USA did. Thanks to my friend, i realised India will always be ahead of USA in time. I challenge anybody who could change that. I would lose a million dollars.Ooops!!! I mean rupees. Although its only time, but its such a great feeling. "AHEAD IN TIME!!! " Woooow....Its so nice to hear and imagine.

Going a bit off topic. If you go to college in your own city, you tend to ask your colleagues, which part of the city they are from in a hope to find somebody from your own locality. If you go to a college in education town, you tend to ask which part of the country they are from to check out if they are from your city. Here we tend to ask "Are you from India?" and you get a broad smile when u get a reply in affirmative. Indians here take India as a whole. they dont distinguish each others as North Indians, South Indians or Mumbaite, Delhite. You are just plain simple......INDIAN!!! And thats a great feeling. INDIA UNDIVIDED!!!

Going a bit more off topic... The Papparazzi and the media in India keep on cribbing about smallest of things. Rats death is a breaking news. There is so much negative about our own selves that you watch as soon as you turn on the television. Not that the media here is easy on people but you dont constantly hear bad about India. So, you feel more proud to be an Indian...

Here all the Indians have two lives. One is the American and other is that of an Indian. Usually American life tends to takeover Indian lifestyle, but they deep in their heart regret about it and that shows how much ever American or western you become, You'll always be an Indian...You might drive out your relatives out or ignore them but they will definitely stop by to hold an old person who slipped by...I hope you get my point...Same with the accent.They might get an American accent but they still speak their mother tongue as clearly as they always did. They still teach their children the same values they received...

I do miss India very much; more so every afternoon which is when I used to have Vada Pavs everyday. I miss my dad the most. and everybody I knew...