Whats your opinion?

Its two months to graduation. And I am totally confused.

So confused that I cant think rationally anymore. What should I do? Take up a job (which I don't want to. But, I need the money.) ? Should I go back home and immerse myself in my start up project? (Ohhh yeah!!! Thats what I need the money for if I take up a job.)

I wish life was as simple as the problem above. But those were just general questions. The more complex part is coming your way.

What kind of resume should I prepare? Where do I start applying? What about relocation? WHat about my Visa status? What kind of salary should I expect?

If I go back home, where would I begin with towards my project? What would I do till the time it starts picking up pace?What kind of experience would I need?

Ohhh wait... What work experience should I put in my resume? WH not try to take up a job in field I am planning my start up?

Freak!!!! What about dad? What might be his opinion? what if he asks me to get into his business?

Business!!! How will I expand mine? What kind of exams might I have to go through?

Exams!!!! When is the freaking mid semesters? How am I going to study? How will I finish my project?

Project!!!! Ohhh god... When will I finish the project at my workplace? Deadline is in two weeks?

so on so on so on...

So many questions... no specific answers....

"Whats your opinion?" I keep on asking this to all my near ones.... I am so confused.

and trust me, I am enjoying it....

Reasonless

What a semester it has been!!! Its almost a month before I finally decided to post this post. Dont ask me the reason for it. Because I dont have one.

The semester started with such a bang. Party everyday! Trikha's friends coming from South Carolina, me returning from Pittsburgh, Vaibhav's birthday and, as they say, the list continues. We just needed a reason to fly. 20 days into the semester and we started to feel the heat. Assignments, project due dates, research everything together. I had classes just once a week that too on a saturday. Had 6 full days to finish off my work but never to be. Why should I? Had the next week to do it. You know where that comes from. Bachelors !!! Eitherway...

Now lets get to the point. The reason for this post! None. Just felt like writing something. I am not going to apoligise here for not updating my blog. Its for two reasons. The first being I couldnt really find something to write on. Second being, as if my updating a blog makes a difference. So where were we? Yup. I just felt like writing something.

As I write this, I am wondering how did I survive that semester. It was horrible. As I think about it, I wonder that I made through without hurting myself. However, lots of positives from it. Its times like these when you make real friends. I made a few. But, they are the ones who are on my 4am list of friends.

Off late, I have started realizing that I just have 11 months of schooling left in my life. Never again I might go to school. The worst of this all, have to face another set of farewells and see-offs. Who knows where the hell we'll land up! I have started hating see-offs. I mean, the frequency at which I have started "seeing-off" people, I really think time needs to slow down. It was just now, that I had arrived in DC. And its a year already! How the hell did it go so soon?

Just when I went to drop of my friend to airport who was going for a holiday, it just struck me. Next year, I would probably be here again and then that would be The Send-Off. Reality hit me. I had a lump in my throat. Took me a while to let that feeling sink in me. These are the moments that make you realize to live life to the fullest.

If you got to go, you got to go !!!

There was no real reason behind this post and am pretty sure, it is total waste of whatever! But just felt like writing something. Maybe, this would encourage me to start writing regularly again. I might delete this post, as soon as I come up with better things.

till then, WINKS!!!

Holding Back....

Have you ever felt betrayed? Ever felt the most beautiful moments of life change into the most heart-piercing ones? Ever felt people who knew you, all of a sudden, dont know you and vice versa?Ever looked at your friends list on a chat program and couldn't find anyone to talk to when just a day back you were talking to 7 people at same time with those 7 people being onlineboth the times?

 Ever felt who would be bothered if you were to die this very moment and feel so terrible when you realise no-one? Ever scared to think of life without few people and all of sudden you are in that situation? Ever trusted people more than yourself and found the same people at loss of trust with you for no reason whatsoever?

Ever felt let down in the phrase's truest sense when you all you have ever done is back them up? Have you ever felt that after two decades of your life you are back to where you were? Have you ever, ever hired an assasin to kill your own self? and you supplied the gun too?

Today, I have answered all of this above questions a YES. I feel terrible about it. I dont know if I am/was right or wrong... I dont know if I should be angry or depressed... Should start all over again or just leave hopes... Should I confront them or behave as if nothing as happened... Should I.... I dont know what to say or do....

For the time being I am holding myself back...And its not out of choice...

Its because I dont have any other choice...................